MOTHERBIKINI
Choreographic Everything …
Big part of my research is searching for the method that each piece needs, I always think performance through methods of making music. Like making performative albums. It allows me to bring desires, thoughts, images that can inform a concept from intuition rather than making sense. It’s a way to throw material on stage and believe in them as products that doesn’t fit any where else. I believe it creates a space that is punk and magic. I also call it Oh My God dramaturgy. It’s a dramaturgy where things unfold one after the other without needing transition or reason relating to how landscape dramaturgy can be described. OMG works for picking out all of the things in a process that was totally OMG and deserves to be on stage as material for no other reason than that it’s so OhMyGod. The method leans against philosophies like synchronicity and coincidences. What can seem random in a process can turn out to be in synchronicity with something we couldn’t have predicted.
Had a very Cat Cow residency at MDT Stockholm. This residency was granted by MDT Stockholm, Veem House for performance Amsterdam and Life long Burning.
Body wave masturbate feeling okay feeling safe watching my grave contemplating names of fames faces I’ve seen it’s been better and worse healing hands holding hearts being brave and bold and broken misunderstood me misunderstood memes missmade molecules mutating soft spots and dirty dreams less lonely than lost rather lost than lonely .. I think.
I’m thinking about a body. Spilling. A body spilling and leaking. Spilling and leaking movements. Spilling Voices. Leaking sound.
I’m thinking about the body becoming text and the movements becoming sounds weaving in and out of each other.
I’m thinking about vaginalizing space. Vaginalizing space with a body wave. A body wave that sends out vibrations. I’m thinking about shaking the room with a body wave. Waving the body. Making the space wave.
I’m thinking about masturbation and pleasure. I’m thinking about masturbating away a heartbreak.
I’m thinking about stories and characters and fictions. I’m thinking about building up fictions and tearing them down again.
I’m thinking about being a complicated image in a complicated body traveling through dance with an open heart and a critical mind.
I asked my friend if he thought I looked cottage core because I was wearing a sweater and I braided my hair, he said “you look more like couch core”.
A leaking body of sound
Pulsing gentle body
Complicated wildness
When I don’t know what to write
I write softer softer softer
When I know exactly what to ride
I ride harder harder harder
I wanna buy jewellery
I wanna buy lingerie
I wanna buy flowers and buckets and pens
I wanna buy stones and crystals for my friends
I wanna buy small body parts in plastic and tin cans and plants
I wanna buy chandeliers and glass objects to reflect in the sun light
Everything feels fucking impossible. I’m tired of feeling sorry, I’m so fucking sad and sorry. Everything sucks. I suck. I suck dick. I suck so much not even the smelliest dick would wanna be sucked by me. I’m searching. Not researching. Stay with the trouble they say. I just wanna cry and die in that order.
ABSOLUTE JOY at HAUT 2020. With Beck Heiberg.
Smoke it out